When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
