If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
