I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was like eating out sand paper
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
