Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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