Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
