I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
