I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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