I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
