I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
