I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
