all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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