we made out on top of his cat.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
