Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No subtext here. People are naked.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
