I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
