you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
