Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
