There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
