If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
