We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This baby is an asshole
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
