I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
