Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
