If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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