Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
