That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
