Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
