You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
