did you get engaged???
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wannas sexs uuuuu
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
