In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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