yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
