I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
