tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
