How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
