my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
