You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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