The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
