I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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