I wish my penis had an off switch
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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