There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish my penis had an off switch
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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