Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
