5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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