did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
