yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
