That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
