the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you're hired as official boob wrangler
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
