'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
