nut hugger
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
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