Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
