i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
