Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
