guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
