you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
