Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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