these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
