my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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